I am doing something for the next couple of days that I don’t know if i have ever done.  I am taking a personal retreat.  I am really seeking the heart of God on many things.  Dreams, passions, vision…etc.  I am so excited to be using The Storyline Conference as a major piece of it! I was struck by how much money and time I spend on so many different things to make my life easier or better or more efficient, but when was the last time I actually spent money, got away and did a serious inventory and self examination of my life. What kind of man, dad, friend, lover, hero, villain, or saint am I? What are my weaknesses, my blind spots and my greatest temptations?

My desire is to have some time to just think on my life; my past, my present and my future.  I want see God in the storyline of my life but also to make some changes so that the trajectory of the story becomes even better.  When I read about the Storyline Conference my heart skipped.  I have appreciated Donald Miller, his heart, his authenticity, his vulnerability and his love for Jesus.

So I watched this and was sold…

So when was the last time you stopped, carved out time in your life to do some focused self-examination? If you are anything like me, the answer is probably, not for a long time…if ever. The time is now.  At least for me!

Many of you, like me, have grown up seeing this speech by Martin Luther King Jr. I am guessing that the first time I saw this was somewhere in my mid to late elementary years of school.  All I really knew was that I was thankful to this guy because I got a day off of school which turned my 2 day weekend into a 3 day weekend. I have grown up in a white middle class family for most of my life.  Life has been pretty easy and to be honest the civil rights movement was a long time ago!!!

All that changed when four years ago this happened:

When I watch the below speech I now see through a whole different lens.  When I read and hear these words

I have a dream that…Children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I get choked up!  I pray this for my daughter…I pray this for our nation.  I appreciate the peace, love, courage and passion that MLK spoke with almost 50 years ago.  Thank you Martin Luther King for having a dream that reaches through history and personally touches our little family in a predominately white suburb of Portland.

PLEASE TAKE SOME TIME TO WATCH TO THIS SPEECH!

We still have a long way to come as a society!!

Well…I haven’t been existent online for awhile and one of the main reasons is that I have been on a much needed vacation with my wife.  We left our kids with Grandma and took off for Kauai…we love it here!!

Long walks, fun memories, lots of laughs, doing whatever we want to do and whenever…

Well…Sorry I have been M.I.A. this last month!!  Things have been great but things have been busy.  So what has been going on this last month??  Here is a few things that have had my attention and my time!

My Family

I love my family!!  They are amazing!  I have a great wife, great kids and I get to love on them every night.  I have been reminded in this season how much more of an impact I can have as I detach from media and focus on relationally building into my wife and kids.  I have also realized I can be much better at it!

Thirteenth Birthday Party

I now have a teenager in my home!!  Crazy, surreal, yet very real!  She is an amazing daughter and it was great to celebrate the day with her!!

My Church

We have been ramping up for the Fall and just entered a vision series…looking forward to what God is going to do amongst us and through us as we SHIFT: from a church to a movement

Leading Worship

Have had some great opportunities to lead worship outside Grace Chapel and also with the church I love!!  It has been a blast

Ten Year College Reunion

Yeah…pretty crazy that ten years have past.  Man I am getting old.  It was fun to celebrate the memories made at Multnomah University

The Ducks

YES…that is right…I bleed green and yell-o.  Not really, but I love me some UO Ducks football!!!!…and our seats this year are pretty sweet!!

Thriving Musicians Summit

Had a great time at this conference.  Lots of worshipers and worship leaders getting inspired and improving skill

I took this picture almost one year ago today.

It was the day we buried my Grandpa.

I love my Grandpa. He was a man’s man, a follower of Jesus, and he loved to share his talents, skills and life with people.  I could go on and on about the things that my Grandpa taught me.

I miss his rough working man hands and getting a hug from him. I miss getting poked with a toothpick and him telling me it was vaccination of love. I miss the ways I used to run into his workshop to see what thing he was building out of whatever kind of wood you could find. I miss watching him read his Bible in his special chair. I miss watching him love my Grandma so selflessly!!

In all honesty I know I will see him again in the presence of Jesus because Grandpa and I shared the same beliefs in Jesus…

but for today and right now….I just miss my Grandpa!!!!!

Our son loves phones and he loves to call everyone from his friend Bubba to Grandma to his girl friend. He doesn’t even know what a girl friend is but that doesn’t stop him. He loves the statement right now “Yeah…Dats Awesome!”

The crazy thing is he is faking it the whole time!!  It isn’t a real phone and there is no one on the other end. When you are 3.5 years old it is funny, but when you are an adult and you are still faking it you look ridiculous.

Why do we try to fake things? Why can’t we just admit we don’t know how to do something; that we need help? I guess I am realizing that I don’t want to fake it any more. I want to be real. I want to ask for help. I want to be secure enough to admit my inadequacies and be okay learning from others.

I don’t know about you but I’m done faking it!!!

In what ways do you feel like you have to fake it…to be accepted??

My son woke up a couple mornings ago with a great desire to give away his last binky (that’s what he calls his pacifier). He didn’t want to give it to me or my wife Carol. He wanted to give it to baby Jesus. He was serious. He didn’t want to use it anymore because he wanted to be a “big boy”. We haven’t been pushing the idea to get rid of it, but he can only have it at nighttime and during his naps. Josiah’s binky is his strongest sense of comfort. When he gets hurt he runs for his blue binky. When he is tired, he wants his blue binky. When he is mad and angry and has to go to “recovery time” (time-out) he wants “The Binky”. In his little mind, his binky makes all things better, makes his life easier and represents all things good. But is that really the case? Isn’t the binky just a false sense of safety and security? Doesn’t Josiah truly find his security, comfort and safety in our arms as his parents?

So why do we, much like my son, hang on to things in our lives we think will bring us true security and comfort when all along our Father God is longing to show us, prove to us and tell us that He and He alone is our comfort and true security. I want to give my insecurities and false senses of comfort to Jesus too. It is only in Jesus that I am truly secure; it is only in true surrender we find our hope and ultimate comfort.

What about you?? What are your “Binkies”?

Every day I wake up to four faces.  These four people look to me for guidance, direction, comfort, love, leadership and so many other things.  I get up, take a shower, get dressed, head downstairs, kiss them and head out the door to work.

As I walk out of our front door I see this picture hanging on our wall

We had these pictures done by a good friend about 8 months ago.  I love this picture.  It is one of my favorite of all time…why??

I head out the door ready to talk to people, meet people, minister to people, love people, be there for them…all the while leaving the four most important people behind.  Every morning, or time I walk by this image, I think of my beautiful wife and kids that want to follow me, long to follow me, desire to walk in my footsteps….and it makes me ask the question:

DO I HAVE THINGS BACKWARDS? Am I losing time and influence with those that I care for most because I am trying to gain influence in other areas?

I want to be a great Dad and husband…sometimes I just suck at it!! Sometimes I am so selfish and going after the things that will fulfill me that I miss out on the things that truly fulfill the desires of my heart.  But that’s not my intention it just IS sometimes.

THEY FOLLOW ME…and I pray that I will lead them well and to the heart of Jesus

What things often times get backwards in your life??