I love my Grandpa. He was a man’s man, a follower of Jesus, and he loved to share his talents, skills and life with people. I could go on and on about the things that my Grandpa taught me.
I miss his rough working man hands and getting a hug from him. I miss getting poked with a toothpick and him telling me it was vaccination of love. I miss the ways I used to run into his workshop to see what thing he was building out of whatever kind of wood you could find. I miss watching him read his Bible in his special chair. I miss watching him love my Grandma so selflessly!!
In all honesty I know I will see him again in the presence of Jesus because Grandpa and I shared the same beliefs in Jesus…
but for today and right now….I just miss my Grandpa!!!!!
Our son loves phones and he loves to call everyone from his friend Bubba to Grandma to his girl friend. He doesn’t even know what a girl friend is but that doesn’t stop him. He loves the statement right now “Yeah…Dats Awesome!”
The crazy thing is he is faking it the whole time!! It isn’t a real phone and there is no one on the other end. When you are 3.5 years old it is funny, but when you are an adult and you are still faking it you look ridiculous.
Why do we try to fake things? Why can’t we just admit we don’t know how to do something; that we need help? I guess I am realizing that I don’t want to fake it any more. I want to be real. I want to ask for help. I want to be secure enough to admit my inadequacies and be okay learning from others.
My son woke up a couple mornings ago with a great desire to give away his last binky (that’s what he calls his pacifier). He didn’t want to give it to me or my wife Carol. He wanted to give it to baby Jesus. He was serious. He didn’t want to use it anymore because he wanted to be a “big boy”. We haven’t been pushing the idea to get rid of it, but he can only have it at nighttime and during his naps. Josiah’s binky is his strongest sense of comfort. When he gets hurt he runs for his blue binky. When he is tired, he wants his blue binky. When he is mad and angry and has to go to “recovery time” (time-out) he wants “The Binky”. In his little mind, his binky makes all things better, makes his life easier and represents all things good. But is that really the case? Isn’t the binky just a false sense of safety and security? Doesn’t Josiah truly find his security, comfort and safety in our arms as his parents?
So why do we, much like my son, hang on to things in our lives we think will bring us true security and comfort when all along our Father God is longing to show us, prove to us and tell us that He and He alone is our comfort and true security. I want to give my insecurities and false senses of comfort to Jesus too. It is only in Jesus that I am truly secure; it is only in true surrender we find our hope and ultimate comfort.
Every day I wake up to four faces. These four people look to me for guidance, direction, comfort, love, leadership and so many other things. I get up, take a shower, get dressed, head downstairs, kiss them and head out the door to work.
As I walk out of our front door I see this picture hanging on our wall
We had these pictures done by a good friend about 8 months ago. I love this picture. It is one of my favorite of all time…why??
I head out the door ready to talk to people, meet people, minister to people, love people, be there for them…all the while leaving the four most important people behind. Every morning, or time I walk by this image, I think of my beautiful wife and kids that want to follow me, long to follow me, desire to walk in my footsteps….and it makes me ask the question:
DO I HAVE THINGS BACKWARDS? Am I losing time and influence with those that I care for most because I am trying to gain influence in other areas?
I want to be a great Dad and husband…sometimes I just suck at it!! Sometimes I am so selfish and going after the things that will fulfill me that I miss out on the things that truly fulfill the desires of my heart. But that’s not my intention it just IS sometimes.
THEY FOLLOW ME…and I pray that I will lead them well and to the heart of Jesus
